A different approach to "holiday magic"

a mini essay and Sunday Collection

Dec 10, 2023

∙ Paid

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I had an epiphany the other day as I was turning on the battery-operated candles and glowy little tea lights on my bookshelves. What if … I thought … what if instead of throwing all of my energy into Christmastime preparation, I devoted my time to winter preparation. What if, instead of asking “what will make the holidays magical for my family,” I ask: “what traditions and routines will sustain us after the holiday letdown?”

Every year, no matter how intentional I am with boundaries or simplifying our holiday celebrations, I wind up exhausted from traveling and extroverting. In January, when seemingly everyone is high on setting goals and rushing into the new year, all I want to do is take a nap. It isn’t just holiday travel that gets me—it’s seasonal affective disorder (UGH). The January through March slump hits me harder every year, and what’s the point of investing all of my energy in Christmas joy if I have none left over?

I have so much respect for those who go all out for the holidays, but I simply do not possess that gene. In order to achieve a laid back, low stress, and enjoyable holiday season, I need to strategize, and often that means letting some things go.

This year, I’m collecting cookie recipes and warm, delicious sounding dishes to spread over the whole winter instead of marathon baking my way to the holidays. I’m reorganizing the house and spending time nesting instead of decorating every corner. I’m setting aside money for winter adventures and weekly treats instead of saying yes to more gift exchanges.

I’m thinking about our family traditions because I want my son to have fond memories and warm feelings around this time of year for a long, long time. But I’m focusing on those warm feelings way more than the big events. Playing in the snow, drinking warm milk frothed with cinnamon, snuggling under blankets to watch a movie, and reading by flashlight are all sensory experiences that pair well with the holidays, but we can keep coming back to them all winter long.

I like to follow the rule of three when gift-giving, and it feels right to apply it to Christmas traditions, too. Each year, I aim to focus on just three things. The things might change a bit, depending on life circumstances or budget, but the feelings and intentions behind them will remain the same: simple, cozy, festive traditions that fuel our energy rather than drain it.

This year, we are opening an already-owned-but-wrapped picture book each night leading up to Christmas, exchanging our Christmas Eve books before we leave to visit family, and baking cookies together while listening to Christmas records. That’s it. Those are my three priorities, so I can devote the remainder of my festive spirit to prepping our home and myself for the dark winter doldrums.