Bracelets & Audiobooks & Social Media Feelings

Sunday Saves 8.6.2023

Several months ago, when my son was between 8-12 months old (maybe less, maybe more?) he went through the worst teething phase. I’m talking crying for hours, up all night, only happy when cuddling on the couch. I felt bad for him and bad for myself. My husband and I traded exhausted cries for help, taking turns on the teething shift based on arbitrary measures of who had the most energy—or willpower—to see it through. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but that’s never helpful in the moment, is it? It feels like it will last forever when you’re overtired and overwhelmed.

Months later. My son is still teething (teething again? It seems constant). He still needs extra cuddles and extra sleep support.

But he is so much more fun than he was months ago. I mean, he’s always been adorable, sweet, the center of my world—and YET I am enjoying his toddler phase leaps and bounds more than his baby phase. I should note: he was a delightful baby! It’s me. I’ve never been a big fan of babies, not even baby dolls and—real talk—was wondering when this motherhood thing was going to feel a tad bit more…er…fulfilling rather than draining.

But this whole toddler thing? His language bursting forth, his preferences and personality emerging, his big kisses and hugs? It’s the best. I know it won’t last forever. Unlike the terrible teething, it doesn’t feel like it will last forever. And that’s not fair, is it—that the tough moments stretch on and the joyful ones flit away like dandelion fluff on the breeze.

I know there will be other phases that match, or exceed, the gritted-teeth-just-get-through-it toughness of those early teething days. I don’t need you to tell me just wait. I know.

But right now? This current age, where he blows kisses to grocery store patrons and tries to wink with both eyes, where he says “grandpa” at least three times a day, and where he giggles in delight all. day. long? I’m trying to soak in every moment, store it up for the hard days. I’m loving this parenting phase, though it’s exhausting in all new ways. And that feels worth acknowledging, if only to look back on this little scrap of writing later and say, “ah, yes. It’s all so fleeting.”

• Farm animals are the BIG THING in our house right now, so I ordered a little “expansion pack” to replace some tossed, chewed, and lost pieces for my kiddo’s barn toy. It’s a hit!

• Speaking of current interests, I’ve returned to one of my middle school hobbies: jewelry making (well, just stretchy bracelets). I witnessed everyone and her sister making fun friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concerts with envy, until I realized I don’t need an event in order to make bracelets. I can just do it. Bracelet-making time is hard to come by, but pairing it with audiobook listening makes for a luxury experience, even if it’s just 20 minutes before bed.

• I just finished listening to Family Lore by Elizabeth Acevedo and just started Crook Manifesto by Colson Whitehead, and it feels great to get back in the audiobook game, but I’m not watching any TV. I kind of miss it, kind of love all the reading time, kind of miss the days when I didn’t have to choose just one form of entertainment (yes, I know, I just said this phase will pass and I’ll miss it, etc.).

• I love seeing your thoughts on books from Recipe for a Summer Romance! I’ve seen two readers post about Forever Your Rogue by Erin Langston lately and wanted to shout it out again because I’d love for more historical romance readers to find it.

• It’s been a few weeks since I logged out of @chelseyreads on Instagram and one week since I deleted the app. I’ve seen lots of social media discourse in the days since, and it’s still too soon for me to add any concrete reflections or opinions, but here’s how I’m feeling so far. I love how much more present I am with my son, my spouse, and my own thoughts. I feel like I have a bit more time in the day to pursue things like beading, reading, or letting my mind wander. I also feel disconnected from the world in a weird way, calmer but like I’m missing out on something. One last thing: it’s very apparent that people find my work here on Substack through Instagram. My previously exponential growth has staggered to a slow plateau, and while that’s fine for now, I am taking note—because I work here on the internet now (not via Substack, but still!). And it’s…UGH…still apparently important to have a consistent social media footprint for discoverability.

Along with taking a break from Instagram, I’ve given myself permission to post here as little as I please, so if you do not hear from me for a couple of weeks, I’m just hibernating at the splash pad, in the sunshine, at the library, in my office, curled up on my son's floor bed, dreaming of what I’d like to create next and reacquainting myself with just being.

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